Lauren

Hola Lauren!
- In "El hombre trabajó para sobrevivir" are you trying to say:
1) The man worked to survive (or)
2) The man tried to survive? (in this case, use "trataba" or "trató"
- "cuando el serpiete se picadó" --> "...picó"
- "No había doloras" --> "...dolor"
- Suggestion: instead of "el paisaje estuve en muchos colores." try using "el paisaje estaba pintoresco" --> the scenary was colorful
- "occurir próxima" --> próximo
- Tucuru-Pucu --> Tacurú-Pucú
-

Escrito por maha 26/11/2006 20:38

HEY LAUREN!!!!!
>just make sure that you show with quotation the title of the story
>nadie sabe donde va o como pueda llegar--here i would used puede because it should be in the indicative tense rahter than the subjuncitve tense, and needs to be in agreement with va
>Todo el mundo está caminando a la muerta y como el hombre, algo es malo, y algo es bueno--i don't think that it is necessary here to say algo twice instead say that it is both good and bad then explain
>es malo cuando el serpiete--careful just a little gender issue..its "la serpiente"
>Todas las personas está --just a minor grammar thing here..it should be las personas "estan" with an accent on the a
--You did a fabulous job Lauren

Escrito por Alyssa 26/11/2006 21:07

Hey lauren,
put the title in quotes, or underline.
el serpiete<-- a spelling mistake . and also el serpiente should be La because it is feminine.
Tucuru-Pucu should be with an Ta and accents throughout.

Escrito por Sara 26/11/2006 21:18

Hi Lauren

-"Una tema": tema is masculine, it should be "Un"
-"Sólo podamos ": I don't see any reason so use the subjunctive, so "podemos"
-I agree with Maha about "El hombre trabajó para sobrevivir": you can even use "querer" in the preterite to express the idea of trying
-"creó": preterite of creer is "creyó". It's subtle but "creó" is the preterite third person of "crear", to create
-"la muerta" in the second paragraph: if you mean death, the noun, it's "la muerte"
-"el serpiete": minor typo/gender issue, it's "la serpiente"
-"se picadó" should be "picó"
-"estuve": I'm pretty sure you don't want to say "I am the time...", it's estuvo, and in this case I might go with the imperfect, estaba, because it seems more like a description/interrupted by action.
-"doloras": "dolores", perhaps even just "dolor", pain in general in the leg
-I agree with Maha about the "el paisaje estuve en muchos colores." At the very least, the conjugation is wrong.
-in the third paragraph: "no sabe" is directed at whom? Who is the subject of saber? I might use "quién sabe" to express the idea of "who knows what happens next?"
-"Los pensamientos no se hice realidad": "se hice" should be "se hicieron"
-"No puede decir ": if you're trying to say "no one can say", please make it clear and say "nadie"
-"las personas está": "las personas están"

Jason

Escrito por Jason 26/11/2006 21:59

Hola Lauren!
* "Una tema"- tricky... tema is masculine, so it should be "un tema."
* "serpiete"- serpiente
* "doloras"- spelling/accent
* "estuve"- that means "I was," I think you want to say estuvo.
* "Tucuru-Pucu"- accents?
* "Todas las personas está"- personas is plural, so it should be están.
Very Good Job Lauren!!

Escrito por Jackie 27/11/2006 00:23

Hi Lauren

great job with your essay you did a great job discussing the theme and I only have a few corrections:

-make sure to use quotations or underline "A la Deriva" to show it is a title
-in the first paragraph serpiente is feminine so it should be la serpiente
-in the second paragraph you say "estuve en muchos colores" this wording is a little awkward and I think it would be better if you said "tuve muchos colores"
- in the third paragraph tema is masculine so it should be "un tema"

overall great job!

Escrito por Nicole 27/11/2006 02:51

Hey Lauren
good job on your essay..just a few corrections

-in the first paragraph "creó ir a encontrar ayuda." it should be creyó
-in the second paragraph "es malo cuando el serpiete se picadó" es should be in the past tense

Escrito por Annette 29/11/2006 02:47

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